of being sick and tired. I just want to be wanted, to be missed, to be needed and fought for. Don't take me for granted; I want to be loved the way I love you. I want to be looked at like you might not see me again, and I want to feel your fear of letting go when you hold me. I want everything to be how it used to be - at least, I want to feel as wanted as I did then, when love was new and we didn't want to lose it. I want you to tell me how much I mean to you, and I want you to keep your promises the way you used to.
I hate this feeling like we might not make it through to tomorrow; this feeling of uncertainty - of dismissal. I don't want to feel like I'm only wanted when you have time - I want to feel valuable to you, like I'm the only me you're gonna get and you don't want to lose me.
I try my hardest to make you happy - to give you what you want. And silly ol' me is always disappointed when what you want is not me. But that disappointment stems from not feeling wanted enough - like I'm waiting in a room of all your favourite things to be picked out and cuddled, like a stuffed animal, before being thrown back on the top of the pile for another rainy day.
If we have to make rules for us, then so be it. If I have to make it hard for you to love me, then it's because I want to see how much you do love me, since you never show it.
It's not the first time I've thought, 'we're different people and we want different things.' But that's what we are, and that's how it is. I don't know how long we have left, but at least in that time I want to you to fall in love with me again.
Otherwise, right now, we're just good friends.
