ive come to the conclusion that i dont think im suitable to be anyone's girlfriend.
as i posted before, im still coming to a difficult decision about my relationship.. it's full of things i want and things i don't want. obviously, the cuddles, being looked after and having someone who theoretically should be there when i need him are all bonuses (the latter only being a bonus in a small number of situations). but the arrogance, the bullying (can i call it that, really?), the whole not really being very good at making me feel worth anything thing? im not sure what outweighs what.
i said i'd give it a week after the holiday and.. frankly.. nothing's changed and he said that it would. i was hoping for more enthusiasm about me as a person but i still always feel pretty rubbish about myself because of the lack of interest in my personality from my boyfriend.. when i bring this up with him, though, of course there's nothing wrong - oh lyn youre funny, even funnier than my friends, and youre my best friend and i like spending time with you - but then i feel like they're just words to get out of the situation of talking seriously about our relationship. he never asks me if i want to do anything with him, he would spend time with his friends or with no one at all, i'm at his house and he just sits on his computer in a call with his friends and he thinks thats totally okay.. - i can't go to his house without taking my own laptop because otherwise i'd just get ignored and then be bored.
ive just been thinking in general about myself and ben as a pair.. him being so arrogant and obnoxious and me being somewhat insecure and unsure about myself (who isn't?) and awkward and clingy and just too.. bleh. of course i have friends, duh, but only a few because i cant get to that level where i can be myself with anyone anymore who isn't already my best friend. i can be a bit of an attention seeker when i want to be, and very much a bitch when i want to be.. and i'm just a clingy person and ben usually says im being selfish.. and, thinking rationally, well, why wouldn't he say that? i must be clingy and selfish to some degree, at least.
so that's my thought process of not really being girlfriend material.
obviously im writing this in my blog to avoid arguments. i'll get complaints about being moody all the time and always throwing a strop when i dont get what i want (which he does too but refuses to admit cus he's too arrogant and he's the best and everyone else is retarded) and being selfish and to stop pestering him and for me to just go away. i feel guilty for ever crying about anything, which is annoying. so yeah. im not sure what else to say, really. i just wanted to get some thoughts down on this rather than bring them up with ben and have an argument and hear him laugh at me because im being pathetic or whatever.
meh. bye.
Monday, 5 November 2012
Thursday, 11 October 2012
it's been a while
so.. it has been ages since I updated my blog.. the last two posts were just my language investigation cus my friend wanted to have a look, izzit
i'm gonna write this here but not say it to anyone officially in case it never happens.. i'm definitely thinking of breaking up with ben. it's been too long and too much of a struggle emotionally to be his girlfriend. i get pushed around and don't really get anything out of the relationship anymore except someone to sleep beside on the weekends.. but i dont even enjoy being around him anymore. he takes no pride in his appearance and nowadays he just digusts me, really.. he's arrogant and obnoxious and everything i wish he wasn't so.. this should have been done sooner, really.
we're going on holiday for two weeks to tenerife, so this is what i have been waiting for. after the holiday, i will make my decision. and i really hope the holiday sucks, so that it's not as hard as it would be if it was great.
i'm gonna write this here but not say it to anyone officially in case it never happens.. i'm definitely thinking of breaking up with ben. it's been too long and too much of a struggle emotionally to be his girlfriend. i get pushed around and don't really get anything out of the relationship anymore except someone to sleep beside on the weekends.. but i dont even enjoy being around him anymore. he takes no pride in his appearance and nowadays he just digusts me, really.. he's arrogant and obnoxious and everything i wish he wasn't so.. this should have been done sooner, really.
we're going on holiday for two weeks to tenerife, so this is what i have been waiting for. after the holiday, i will make my decision. and i really hope the holiday sucks, so that it's not as hard as it would be if it was great.
Thursday, 13 September 2012
language investigation draft 2
An Investigation into the Differences in Written Language in Young Deaf People and Young Hearing People
Language acquisition and development is a process that Chomsky thinks comes innately to humans through a device called the LAD – Language Acquisition Device. His theory states that babies are born with the knowledge of basic rules of language structure and that humans come with an innate ability to pick up language. However, what happens if the child suffers from a disability that hinders their ability to hear the language around them?
For my language investigation I will be analysing the differences in written language in deaf people compared to hearing people. My investigation will consider grammar, lexis and cohesion. Being deaf puts a person at a huge disadvantage in terms of learning both written and spoken language because they cannot pick up information through being immersed within the language environment, especially if they were born deaf or lost their hearing at a very young age.
This disadvantage means that learning language is extremely difficult for them because the children often cannot hear themselves, let alone the person talking to them. Teaching the child(ren) words and concepts of life are often a slower process when compared to a hearing child who is more aware of their surroundings. Piaget's theories on language acquisition are mainly focused around "cognitive development" - the language they learn being controlled by the development of thinking. This means that the child would have to understand the concept in order for them to be able to correctly use the phrase: e.g. children who use phrases such as "more than" must have grasped the concept of it before they were able to use it in an utterance. I wish to challenge this theory in my investigation.
AimsI will be looking at the lexis and grammar used by a young deaf person and then will compare it to that of a hearing person of a similar age.
MethodologyMy case study will centre around my sister who had meningitis when she was almost a year old and became deaf as a result of it. She received a cochlear implant that allows her to hear in one ear but she mainly relies on lip reading and, in earlier stages of life, sign language. She picked up spoken and written language at a later age than hearing children through speech therapy and she received special help at school from specialised departments for deaf children. Her main form of communication with friends out of school was instant messaging because she did not need to rely on speaking and listening in order to converse. This provides an interesting case to test the theories mentioned above. Catherine has provided me with a diary that she kept from 2007 to present day and I will compare it to one of my own (from 2008 to 2010). I will be comparing them throughout the investigation, looking for both differences and similarities, along with points that prove or disprove theories of child language acquisition from Chomsky and Piaget.
Expectations
I expect that the language she uses will differ from my own (which is what I will be comparing her data to), especially grammatically because she could not pick up sentence structure and other language features from listening to people at a young age when she relied heavily on sign language and lip reading. This ties into Bruner’s theory of a Language Acquisition Support System (LASS) – Catherine relied heavily on direct interaction with her support system, which made her language acquisition process slower than a child who is able to pick up language from their LASS independently. I also expect that this means her vocabulary and understanding of concepts will be more limited than my own, meaning that perhaps some things she writes may not make sense because she does not understand the concept before trying to use the word.
I expect that the language she uses will differ from my own (which is what I will be comparing her data to), especially grammatically because she could not pick up sentence structure and other language features from listening to people at a young age when she relied heavily on sign language and lip reading. This ties into Bruner’s theory of a Language Acquisition Support System (LASS) – Catherine relied heavily on direct interaction with her support system, which made her language acquisition process slower than a child who is able to pick up language from their LASS independently. I also expect that this means her vocabulary and understanding of concepts will be more limited than my own, meaning that perhaps some things she writes may not make sense because she does not understand the concept before trying to use the word.
Analysis
GrammarThe most obvious difference between Catherine’s diary entries and my own is the use of grammar. Catherine’s grammar is less developed than my own and almost seems childlike. She mixes up tenses in sentences a lot which takes away from the coherence of the sentence: ‘I’m going on my own because mum couldn’t come as she has work to do!’ This agrees with Chomsky’s theory that children are born with a basic knowledge of language structure because she knows to put the verbs in the right places but because she does not understand the concept of tenses as well as we do, she often gets it wrong.
The data proves that Catherine understands the concept of prepositions and where to put them in a sentence, but she perhaps doesn’t quite understand the meaning of some prepositions or which ones to use in which context. For example, she wrote, ‘I started to write this of age 11 yrs old.’ The use of the preposition ‘of’ (instead of ‘at’) shows that she recognises that a preposition should be used but she uses the wrong one. This also occurs in the first diary entry where she writes, ‘helps each other of learning about deaf’, proving that this is not an anomaly. This somewhat agrees with Piaget’s theory of understanding the concept before using the phrase, but she doesn’t quite fully understand which preposition to use, disproving it to some degree.
My own diary entries show a pretty much fully developed understanding of how to use language, and shows confidence in when to use plurals and singular words. However, Catherine sometimes mixes hers up, putting plurals where it should be singular: ‘1 months’, ‘had an ears damaged’. This once again challenges Piaget’s theory; the use of the plural in this case may suggest that she does not understand the concept of plurals, but she has seen people use plurals before (maybe in literature or in other people’s writing – proving Bruner’s theory of the LASS because she has acquired this concept of language from social conditions) and tried to use them in her own way. This relates to the theory of imitation – that children learn language through imitation, but this theory has been found incorrect. However, Catherine has imitated what she has seen/heard other people write/say and used it without understanding the meaning, so it shows that it is possible to learn words through imitation but the child would need to be taught the meaning of the word.
In Catherine’s 2009 diary entries, she has shown a major development in her grammar, not getting too many prepositions wrong, and her sentence structure is often very cohesive. However, it is evident that she has picked up the concept of the word ‘though’ (a subordinating conjunction) but doesn’t quite understand it. She uses it a lot when she doesn’t need to, causing her to sound like she’s contradicting herself: ‘we took funny pictures on webcam. Really funny, though.’ This sentence is not entirely coherent because the ‘though’ suggests that the first part of the sentence is negative or of lesser importance/relevance to the second part, but her intentions are to write about how funny the activity was, which she states in both parts of the sentence. This clearly suggests that she does not understand the meaning of the word but has perhaps heard/seen it from other people and has tried to use it in her own way. This is an example of Vygotsky’s theory of social interaction having an impact on language acquisition. His theory of the More Knowledgeable Other, which is, in this case, her peers using the word ‘though’, is proved here as Catherine has taken influence from them.
The data proves that Catherine understands the concept of prepositions and where to put them in a sentence, but she perhaps doesn’t quite understand the meaning of some prepositions or which ones to use in which context. For example, she wrote, ‘I started to write this of age 11 yrs old.’ The use of the preposition ‘of’ (instead of ‘at’) shows that she recognises that a preposition should be used but she uses the wrong one. This also occurs in the first diary entry where she writes, ‘helps each other of learning about deaf’, proving that this is not an anomaly. This somewhat agrees with Piaget’s theory of understanding the concept before using the phrase, but she doesn’t quite fully understand which preposition to use, disproving it to some degree.
My own diary entries show a pretty much fully developed understanding of how to use language, and shows confidence in when to use plurals and singular words. However, Catherine sometimes mixes hers up, putting plurals where it should be singular: ‘1 months’, ‘had an ears damaged’. This once again challenges Piaget’s theory; the use of the plural in this case may suggest that she does not understand the concept of plurals, but she has seen people use plurals before (maybe in literature or in other people’s writing – proving Bruner’s theory of the LASS because she has acquired this concept of language from social conditions) and tried to use them in her own way. This relates to the theory of imitation – that children learn language through imitation, but this theory has been found incorrect. However, Catherine has imitated what she has seen/heard other people write/say and used it without understanding the meaning, so it shows that it is possible to learn words through imitation but the child would need to be taught the meaning of the word.
In Catherine’s 2009 diary entries, she has shown a major development in her grammar, not getting too many prepositions wrong, and her sentence structure is often very cohesive. However, it is evident that she has picked up the concept of the word ‘though’ (a subordinating conjunction) but doesn’t quite understand it. She uses it a lot when she doesn’t need to, causing her to sound like she’s contradicting herself: ‘we took funny pictures on webcam. Really funny, though.’ This sentence is not entirely coherent because the ‘though’ suggests that the first part of the sentence is negative or of lesser importance/relevance to the second part, but her intentions are to write about how funny the activity was, which she states in both parts of the sentence. This clearly suggests that she does not understand the meaning of the word but has perhaps heard/seen it from other people and has tried to use it in her own way. This is an example of Vygotsky’s theory of social interaction having an impact on language acquisition. His theory of the More Knowledgeable Other, which is, in this case, her peers using the word ‘though’, is proved here as Catherine has taken influence from them.
Lexis The lexis that I use in my diary entries is very well developed, choosing more adventurous adjective and adverbs (for a child of 12) such as ‘violently’ and ‘immensely’. Such words are not evident in Catherine’s diary entries. Instead, she uses quite basic modifiers for an 11 year old: ‘cool’, ‘lovely’. This may be because Catherine’s first language was British Sign Language (BSL) and, because she did not become deaf until around 2 years of age; she was not exposed to learning BSL from birth. Sign language takes more effort than speaking (coordinated movement of hands, arms, body and face) and so the ‘articulation of individual signs is about 1.5 times slower than for words’.[4] This could suggest that, because, as proven by Scarborough and Dobrich (1990), children who are delayed in experimenting with language at a young age develop slower than normal, Catherine’s lack of developed vocabulary is down to starting to learn language at a later age, and having to be taught it rather than experimenting with it as a baby. This could also link in to Lenneberg’s theory of the Critical Period – the window of time in which a child ‘readily’ learns language and any attempts to learn language after this timeframe may be unsuccessful or impossible. Catherine’s late start in language acquisition makes her language development slower because she missed about three years of her ‘critical period’.
Catherine, at the time of these diary entries, was clearly influenced by language in society changing around her. She often communicated with her friends via instant messaging when she wasn’t at school and the result of this is evident in her diary entries from the beginning. She uses phonetic spelling and number homophones: ‘cuz’ and ‘2moz’. This shows that she understands the concept of these techniques and this is probably because she had first-hand experiences of using these, since she was using instant messaging so often. She also uses slang words, like ‘innit’ which suggests that she has acquired the language of her generation through immersion and reinforcement from her peers, supporting Skinner’s theory that children learn language through reinforcement. She also uses it in the right context, suggesting that she fully understands the concept of slang and the meanings of the words. This agrees with Chomsky’s theory of having an innate ability to pick up language, and also with Piaget’s theory of understanding the concept in order to use the phrase. Slang is not used in my own diary entries (except the use of the initialism ‘btw’ although this could have just been used to save time rather than because of my idiolect) and this could be because of differences in our surroundings – slang may be part of Catherine’s sociolect and not mine, we went to different schools, etc.
There are more spelling mistakes in Catherine’s entries than my own, suggesting a slower development of language acquisition. She writes down ‘differculty’, which is a phonetic spelling, which is something you might expect to see in a child of a younger age who is still learning how to spell; more specifically in the ‘Consolidation Stage’ of writing development, which a child should normally reach at 6 – 8 years old. The phonetic spelling also supports the theory that starting to learn language at a later age means learning language at a slower rate, again supporting Lenneberg’s concept of the ‘Critical Period’ – because she missed a few years of her critical period, she learns language at a slower rate.
Catherine, at the time of these diary entries, was clearly influenced by language in society changing around her. She often communicated with her friends via instant messaging when she wasn’t at school and the result of this is evident in her diary entries from the beginning. She uses phonetic spelling and number homophones: ‘cuz’ and ‘2moz’. This shows that she understands the concept of these techniques and this is probably because she had first-hand experiences of using these, since she was using instant messaging so often. She also uses slang words, like ‘innit’ which suggests that she has acquired the language of her generation through immersion and reinforcement from her peers, supporting Skinner’s theory that children learn language through reinforcement. She also uses it in the right context, suggesting that she fully understands the concept of slang and the meanings of the words. This agrees with Chomsky’s theory of having an innate ability to pick up language, and also with Piaget’s theory of understanding the concept in order to use the phrase. Slang is not used in my own diary entries (except the use of the initialism ‘btw’ although this could have just been used to save time rather than because of my idiolect) and this could be because of differences in our surroundings – slang may be part of Catherine’s sociolect and not mine, we went to different schools, etc.
There are more spelling mistakes in Catherine’s entries than my own, suggesting a slower development of language acquisition. She writes down ‘differculty’, which is a phonetic spelling, which is something you might expect to see in a child of a younger age who is still learning how to spell; more specifically in the ‘Consolidation Stage’ of writing development, which a child should normally reach at 6 – 8 years old. The phonetic spelling also supports the theory that starting to learn language at a later age means learning language at a slower rate, again supporting Lenneberg’s concept of the ‘Critical Period’ – because she missed a few years of her critical period, she learns language at a slower rate.
Conclusion and Evaluation
My original hypothesis for this investigation was that there would be significant differences in the level of language used in deaf and hearing people because of the disability barrier of deaf children not being able to acquire language from their surroundings as naturally as hearing children, challenging Bruner’s LASS and Vygotsky’s theory of social interaction having an impact on language development. I collected my data from old diary entries of my sister and compared them to some of my own.
Following close observation of the diary entries, it is very clear that there are differences and a number of theories can be applied as explanations for these. Some theories were confirmed and some were disproved. For example, the existence of an innate ability to learn language (Chomsky’s LAD) was demonstrated but his theory of children being born with the knowledge of basic language structure can be debated because Catherine showed awareness of certain sentence structures but not others (e.g. Subject/object/verb was often correct but she was unsure about prepositions). However, the theory was supported with my own diary entries because, by age 12, I had developed knowledge of a wide range of sentence structures. Other theories were supported, such as Lenneberg’s theory of the ‘Critical Period’ (Catherine’s slower rate of language development as a result of missing a few years of her critical period) and some were challenged, like Piaget’s theory of understanding the concept before actively using the language.
Throughout the investigation, it was clear that learning language at a later age puts you at a major disadvantage and has repercussions in later years. Catherine’s level of language is one that you might expect to find in a child of a younger age (typically seven or eight years old) rather than one that is about to start secondary school. However, there are many variables during the time that could have affected the results. For example, her level of education would have been slower than my own (despite sharing a ‘language acquisition support system’ during infancy) and there have been changes in education on the whole since 2008 – for example, styles of teaching are very different today as they might have been four years ago, meaning that some of this data could be anomalous or outdated. For instance, nowadays teachers are putting more emphasis on learning phonics than they used to increase reading ages of children and improve their language development faster. Another reason this data could be anomalous would be because I didn’t compare it to any other case studies or data of other deaf children.
In conclusion, it is clear that a deaf child’s language is not as well developed as a hearing child’s. This is because the deaf child is unable to be completely immersed in the language and must be manually taught some aspects of language that children would otherwise pick up themselves through their peers, parents and carers (LASS). As well as learning language at a slower rate, in this particular case study, Catherine started learning spoken and written English at a later age than normal children (British Sign Language was her first language) and the effects of this prove the theory that learning language at a later age affects your language development for your whole life and that children who learn language later – in any context (disability, bad parenting, etc.) – develop slower than other children, as well as proving Lenneberg’s theory of a ‘Critical Period’.
Following close observation of the diary entries, it is very clear that there are differences and a number of theories can be applied as explanations for these. Some theories were confirmed and some were disproved. For example, the existence of an innate ability to learn language (Chomsky’s LAD) was demonstrated but his theory of children being born with the knowledge of basic language structure can be debated because Catherine showed awareness of certain sentence structures but not others (e.g. Subject/object/verb was often correct but she was unsure about prepositions). However, the theory was supported with my own diary entries because, by age 12, I had developed knowledge of a wide range of sentence structures. Other theories were supported, such as Lenneberg’s theory of the ‘Critical Period’ (Catherine’s slower rate of language development as a result of missing a few years of her critical period) and some were challenged, like Piaget’s theory of understanding the concept before actively using the language.
Throughout the investigation, it was clear that learning language at a later age puts you at a major disadvantage and has repercussions in later years. Catherine’s level of language is one that you might expect to find in a child of a younger age (typically seven or eight years old) rather than one that is about to start secondary school. However, there are many variables during the time that could have affected the results. For example, her level of education would have been slower than my own (despite sharing a ‘language acquisition support system’ during infancy) and there have been changes in education on the whole since 2008 – for example, styles of teaching are very different today as they might have been four years ago, meaning that some of this data could be anomalous or outdated. For instance, nowadays teachers are putting more emphasis on learning phonics than they used to increase reading ages of children and improve their language development faster. Another reason this data could be anomalous would be because I didn’t compare it to any other case studies or data of other deaf children.
In conclusion, it is clear that a deaf child’s language is not as well developed as a hearing child’s. This is because the deaf child is unable to be completely immersed in the language and must be manually taught some aspects of language that children would otherwise pick up themselves through their peers, parents and carers (LASS). As well as learning language at a slower rate, in this particular case study, Catherine started learning spoken and written English at a later age than normal children (British Sign Language was her first language) and the effects of this prove the theory that learning language at a later age affects your language development for your whole life and that children who learn language later – in any context (disability, bad parenting, etc.) – develop slower than other children, as well as proving Lenneberg’s theory of a ‘Critical Period’.
Friday, 31 August 2012
my language investigation
This looks like one helluva post but it's my first draft of my English Language investigation cus I have a friend and my sister who want me to put this on my blog so here ya go.. basically, it's about the differences in mine and my sister's writing because she's deaf and i'm not. I will post the data first (catherine's diary and then mine) and then the investigation itself and then bibliography :)
Age: 11 Tuesday
25th December 2007 CHRISTMAS DAY
To Diary,
I am Catherine Mae Joynson and I started to write this of
age 11 yrs old. I’m deaf by cochlear implant. I’m an artist, active, I’m good
at Science, Art, Design Technology, Maths, English, Physical Education or more
but I thought I was hard for me… I have a deaf group which is called NDCS
(National Deaf Children Society) which does helps each other of learning about
deaf / hard hearing. I had hearing aids before I was 3 yrs. It doesn’t work for
me. I don’t born deaf, I born normal, but then I was 3
months, my mum found out that I had an ears damaged, that’s why. I’m deaf. I
can lipread, I find differculty at hearing without lips. I’ll tell you more
soon, I’m totally tired now, got to go for sleep.
Love,
Cathy..x
Cathy..x
Friday 11th January 2008
Dear Diary,
Hi. In my dance lesson today was fine…. I’ve just made a new club in Learning Support called ‘Knitting Club.’ It’s like you knit a scarf or hat or some others. Cool, innit. It’s been boring today except dance and science and I.C.T. Lol. I’m feeling so tired right now. zzzz … my niece might come to my home 2moz or on Sunday, not sure. But I want them to cuz I love my niece, She’s like 1 months old. She loves me. Cuz when I first saw her, I went like ‘Hello! Hello, hello!’ and she smiles at me and she seems she’s trying to say hello but she almost can say it. She can mime saying ‘hello! Thats so cute and clever! I think her first word would be ‘hello or ‘yeah’ Lol!
Dear Diary,
Hi. In my dance lesson today was fine…. I’ve just made a new club in Learning Support called ‘Knitting Club.’ It’s like you knit a scarf or hat or some others. Cool, innit. It’s been boring today except dance and science and I.C.T. Lol. I’m feeling so tired right now. zzzz … my niece might come to my home 2moz or on Sunday, not sure. But I want them to cuz I love my niece, She’s like 1 months old. She loves me. Cuz when I first saw her, I went like ‘Hello! Hello, hello!’ and she smiles at me and she seems she’s trying to say hello but she almost can say it. She can mime saying ‘hello! Thats so cute and clever! I think her first word would be ‘hello or ‘yeah’ Lol!
Cathy
xxx
xxx
Monday 21st July 2008
Dear Diary,
Hey! Sorry for a while! 2 more days to go! Woo! I can’t wait for a holiday to Brighton! But one awful news, tomorrow, after skool, I have a metting with Gary Webster, Mrs Mcdonald and Madame Ellis Maduit about MP3 player on French Listening! Aargh! I’m going on my own because mum couldn’t come as she has work to do! I’m scarced! *Gulps* Anyway, umm… Yeah… I have nothing to say, really! Ooh, I went to Wicksteed Park, didn’t I? It was so cool!! And the Prizegiving went well! Not bad. I spent the prize on Michael Morpurgo books! Haha! Called ‘Dear Olly’ and ‘The Amazing Story of Adolphus Tips’ They’re so cool the stories were lovely! See ya
Dear Diary,
Hey! Sorry for a while! 2 more days to go! Woo! I can’t wait for a holiday to Brighton! But one awful news, tomorrow, after skool, I have a metting with Gary Webster, Mrs Mcdonald and Madame Ellis Maduit about MP3 player on French Listening! Aargh! I’m going on my own because mum couldn’t come as she has work to do! I’m scarced! *Gulps* Anyway, umm… Yeah… I have nothing to say, really! Ooh, I went to Wicksteed Park, didn’t I? It was so cool!! And the Prizegiving went well! Not bad. I spent the prize on Michael Morpurgo books! Haha! Called ‘Dear Olly’ and ‘The Amazing Story of Adolphus Tips’ They’re so cool the stories were lovely! See ya
Cathy
xx
xx
Friday 2nd January 2009
Dear Diary,
Happy New Year! Sadly, we have lost our last guinea pig, clear Frisky. She was like Spirit, same death. Laura, my friend lost a hamster on Xmas day, dear star. Today was the good day, funny evening. I was on the laptop with Lyn, we took funny pictures on webcam. Really funny, though. I just been London for a night two days ago, good night. We went to the cinema, watched Madagascar 2 Escape To Africa. It’s a funny, family movie. I like it, though. I just got a new laptop three days ago. Then we got the internet the next day, before we went to London. Xmas was good. I loved my presents especially my UGG Slippers!
Dear Diary,
Happy New Year! Sadly, we have lost our last guinea pig, clear Frisky. She was like Spirit, same death. Laura, my friend lost a hamster on Xmas day, dear star. Today was the good day, funny evening. I was on the laptop with Lyn, we took funny pictures on webcam. Really funny, though. I just been London for a night two days ago, good night. We went to the cinema, watched Madagascar 2 Escape To Africa. It’s a funny, family movie. I like it, though. I just got a new laptop three days ago. Then we got the internet the next day, before we went to London. Xmas was good. I loved my presents especially my UGG Slippers!
Cathy
xx
xx
Sunday 4th January 2009
Dear Diary,
My sister is going back to school tomorrow. I’m going back on Tues, which includes Thomas. Today was a good day. I typed a lot of my story called “The War” and I’ve written like 16 pages. Also known as “The Dome” written by Rachel Day. We didn’t finish but we’re still typing. At the mo, I’m watching Top Gear. And that is the funny episode. I like comedy, funny real episodes. Including Top Gear! To be honest, I don’t know what to say. I just saw an episode about the killing bees attack in football match in Spain. It was full of millions of bees attacking. The footballers were lying down, covering themselves in their clothes. Most of the audience ran away. Ouch….
Dear Diary,
My sister is going back to school tomorrow. I’m going back on Tues, which includes Thomas. Today was a good day. I typed a lot of my story called “The War” and I’ve written like 16 pages. Also known as “The Dome” written by Rachel Day. We didn’t finish but we’re still typing. At the mo, I’m watching Top Gear. And that is the funny episode. I like comedy, funny real episodes. Including Top Gear! To be honest, I don’t know what to say. I just saw an episode about the killing bees attack in football match in Spain. It was full of millions of bees attacking. The footballers were lying down, covering themselves in their clothes. Most of the audience ran away. Ouch….
Cathy
xxx
xxx
Wednesday 9th December 2009
Dear Diary,
I am seriously sick of everything! Mum’s still worse and it’s making my life miserable! Can’t everyone understand?! I truly wish everything was realistic, so undramatic!
Shantel says there’s a final hearing whether her father could take her and sisters to live with him in Southampton. She hasn’t seen her dad for 4 years, until now. It’s what she wants, I’m fine with that. If she is gonna leave, how can I cope with that? ‘Cause then I have no friends to hang out with. I’m not used with hanging out with Chloe and Charlotte. Miss McD. (my teacher of the deaf) says I’m strong and has loads of friends, well she’s wrong. I just feel I can’t take it anymore. I just want to pray that God could give me the solutions!
I felt the possible of ‘yes’ for Shantel’s wish in Southampton. Hell’s are coming to me.
I’m so sick of Lyn, bossing me around. Not doing some things I politely ask her to. I’m getting sick of this.
I feel like stabbing myself or run away. I relly need to sort this out! – Cathy
Dear Diary,
I am seriously sick of everything! Mum’s still worse and it’s making my life miserable! Can’t everyone understand?! I truly wish everything was realistic, so undramatic!
Shantel says there’s a final hearing whether her father could take her and sisters to live with him in Southampton. She hasn’t seen her dad for 4 years, until now. It’s what she wants, I’m fine with that. If she is gonna leave, how can I cope with that? ‘Cause then I have no friends to hang out with. I’m not used with hanging out with Chloe and Charlotte. Miss McD. (my teacher of the deaf) says I’m strong and has loads of friends, well she’s wrong. I just feel I can’t take it anymore. I just want to pray that God could give me the solutions!
I felt the possible of ‘yes’ for Shantel’s wish in Southampton. Hell’s are coming to me.
I’m so sick of Lyn, bossing me around. Not doing some things I politely ask her to. I’m getting sick of this.
I feel like stabbing myself or run away. I relly need to sort this out! – Cathy
Monday 30th March 2010
Dear Diary,
Dear Diary,
Reading back in the few last pages just reminds me of these
moments. Also, I have tears in my eyes, because of that.
I think family life is getting worse. I just had an argument with mum, she was complaining about how much mess Lyn and I had made (but it’s not even real messy!) It’s just like she only cares about her own self and the stupid house. Err, hello? It’s her who just raised us up, then just ignore us and concentrates on her own life.
I just met her boyfriend, Trevor. He seemed nice, also I absolutely love his dog, Ziggy!
I just don’t want to be hurt anymore, she’s just like a useless mother who doesn’t know about teenagers – internet, fashion, online games, hanging out, high schools.
Now she just said “I’m sick of this! You do your own washing, ironing, whatever!”
She didn’t even know how to stop shouting than just talk – it just hurts my ears! I’m not a slave! Why would she expect us to be perfect at keeping everything clean?! We’re not housekeepers yet! We are growing, we’re teenagers!
Dad, I just need you.
- Catherine.
I think family life is getting worse. I just had an argument with mum, she was complaining about how much mess Lyn and I had made (but it’s not even real messy!) It’s just like she only cares about her own self and the stupid house. Err, hello? It’s her who just raised us up, then just ignore us and concentrates on her own life.
I just met her boyfriend, Trevor. He seemed nice, also I absolutely love his dog, Ziggy!
I just don’t want to be hurt anymore, she’s just like a useless mother who doesn’t know about teenagers – internet, fashion, online games, hanging out, high schools.
Now she just said “I’m sick of this! You do your own washing, ironing, whatever!”
She didn’t even know how to stop shouting than just talk – it just hurts my ears! I’m not a slave! Why would she expect us to be perfect at keeping everything clean?! We’re not housekeepers yet! We are growing, we’re teenagers!
Dad, I just need you.
- Catherine.
Monday 28th June 2010
Dear Diary,
Today was okay. Only Shantel weren’t there. She was an accident, broke her collar bone by elipsy fits thingy. She keeps getting these fits since like couple of months ago, she fell off the chair, hit her above eye. That’s what caused her fits. Well, as long she can be okay for a while…
I had Beth and Megan today… Everything’s calm. Hottest weather, I begin to hate summer, they suffer my body temperature. I prefer Winter, it’s easy that way, get your blanket, you’re warm long enough. Lyn’s gone to Berlin for week, a tidy bedroom for me! She keeps things messy, making me feel like Cinderella.
Hahaha J
Dear Diary,
Today was okay. Only Shantel weren’t there. She was an accident, broke her collar bone by elipsy fits thingy. She keeps getting these fits since like couple of months ago, she fell off the chair, hit her above eye. That’s what caused her fits. Well, as long she can be okay for a while…
I had Beth and Megan today… Everything’s calm. Hottest weather, I begin to hate summer, they suffer my body temperature. I prefer Winter, it’s easy that way, get your blanket, you’re warm long enough. Lyn’s gone to Berlin for week, a tidy bedroom for me! She keeps things messy, making me feel like Cinderella.
Hahaha J
-
Catherine
Monday 22nd August 2011
Dear Diary,
Yo!
Just starting to get used to my life, just learnt that I will get good and bad times. Feeling happy that I’ve got an appointment to Nottingham tomorrow to discuss my interest in bilateral implant which I’ve wanted for months. I hope I get one soon, my hearing’s been shit. Also, I want the new upgrade called Nucleus 5, the Freedom’s really gay.
Been to london to meet Rachek and it was fantastic. Got to meet Tom for the first time. Then deaf camp, can’t tell you how much I miss it now. So much easier that I can understand people. Braved myself and let my confidence out, and apparantly got myself populated by the group. Feeling proud but can’t bring it at school, obviously because they’re not deaf.
Life’s becoming normal for once.
Ouch, my hand’s so sore. Explains my fucked handwriting.
- CathyMae ♥
Dear Diary,
Yo!
Just starting to get used to my life, just learnt that I will get good and bad times. Feeling happy that I’ve got an appointment to Nottingham tomorrow to discuss my interest in bilateral implant which I’ve wanted for months. I hope I get one soon, my hearing’s been shit. Also, I want the new upgrade called Nucleus 5, the Freedom’s really gay.
Been to london to meet Rachek and it was fantastic. Got to meet Tom for the first time. Then deaf camp, can’t tell you how much I miss it now. So much easier that I can understand people. Braved myself and let my confidence out, and apparantly got myself populated by the group. Feeling proud but can’t bring it at school, obviously because they’re not deaf.
Life’s becoming normal for once.
Ouch, my hand’s so sore. Explains my fucked handwriting.
- CathyMae ♥
Friday 16th March 2012
Dear Diary
Looking back to past, it’s funny how you change within a few years. Mad world. Recently, I’ve decided to accept life. Yes, it is hard but only you can do is, waste your life with whatever you want to do. My life goal, is to achieve a photography career and see what happens next.
I’ve noticed how my life changed. I’ve finally sorted out myself. I’ve met a couple of friends and I’ve became more friends with Chloe now. Life’s going well so far, I guess. I’m in my final GCSE’s year and only I’m struggling in English and History. Apart from that, I guess I’m coping fine. English is my main concern because I obviously need them for my A Level Film Studies in Northampton College in this September. I seriously can’t wait for college life. Something new in my education life, finally.
Dear Diary
Looking back to past, it’s funny how you change within a few years. Mad world. Recently, I’ve decided to accept life. Yes, it is hard but only you can do is, waste your life with whatever you want to do. My life goal, is to achieve a photography career and see what happens next.
I’ve noticed how my life changed. I’ve finally sorted out myself. I’ve met a couple of friends and I’ve became more friends with Chloe now. Life’s going well so far, I guess. I’m in my final GCSE’s year and only I’m struggling in English and History. Apart from that, I guess I’m coping fine. English is my main concern because I obviously need them for my A Level Film Studies in Northampton College in this September. I seriously can’t wait for college life. Something new in my education life, finally.
-
CathyMae.
Saturday 18th
October ‘08
Dear diary,
I went to my niece’s birthday party today. She was 1yr old on the 15th, and Wej wanted to have a small family party for Louise. Danny was glued to his Gamecube, playing Super Mario Sunshine on it and asking me to win loads of levels and shine sprites for him. He kept telling me I was his ‘favourite Lyn!’J He’s only 5.
I am coming to the end of my first week of holiday. My school has different holidays to the other schools, so it’s just me in the house alone until I either have to pick up Thomas or Catherine comes home and I have to do my paper round. Because of this, I have gotten into reading Doctor Who books. I have a major collection of them. But, funnily enough, I have read all of them! I hate the way you buy a book, read it then never touch it again. Mostly. But I went shopping this morning and bought three new ones: Forever Autumn, Wetworld & Sick Building. I love them.
My hand hurts from not writing this much in nearly a week now. I must exercise – hehe!
I have been hooked up on The Sims 2 recently, too. I made the Smudge family – me, Toni & Danielle – and Lilac (Toni) got the flu and was coughing quite violently and it was pretty funny!
I cough too. I have a really bad cough. Its going away though. I have a cold as well, which isn’t going away and probably won’t go away till next month!
Andrew texted me this afternoon, said he saw me up town. He suggested we should all meet up and go to the cinema or something. He said he’d ring me. :O
Ha, I’m running out of things to write about. I must send one of my immensely long emails round again! And I must ask Kaisie if I can borrow her Chronicles of Ancient Darkness book. I need to read it before the next one comes out!
Over and out!
Dear diary,
I went to my niece’s birthday party today. She was 1yr old on the 15th, and Wej wanted to have a small family party for Louise. Danny was glued to his Gamecube, playing Super Mario Sunshine on it and asking me to win loads of levels and shine sprites for him. He kept telling me I was his ‘favourite Lyn!’J He’s only 5.
I am coming to the end of my first week of holiday. My school has different holidays to the other schools, so it’s just me in the house alone until I either have to pick up Thomas or Catherine comes home and I have to do my paper round. Because of this, I have gotten into reading Doctor Who books. I have a major collection of them. But, funnily enough, I have read all of them! I hate the way you buy a book, read it then never touch it again. Mostly. But I went shopping this morning and bought three new ones: Forever Autumn, Wetworld & Sick Building. I love them.
My hand hurts from not writing this much in nearly a week now. I must exercise – hehe!
I have been hooked up on The Sims 2 recently, too. I made the Smudge family – me, Toni & Danielle – and Lilac (Toni) got the flu and was coughing quite violently and it was pretty funny!
I cough too. I have a really bad cough. Its going away though. I have a cold as well, which isn’t going away and probably won’t go away till next month!
Andrew texted me this afternoon, said he saw me up town. He suggested we should all meet up and go to the cinema or something. He said he’d ring me. :O
Ha, I’m running out of things to write about. I must send one of my immensely long emails round again! And I must ask Kaisie if I can borrow her Chronicles of Ancient Darkness book. I need to read it before the next one comes out!
Over and out!
Monday
27th October ‘08
Dear diary,
Not much to write really except that I have started writing a sequel to my friend’s story – The Dome. Her story is 72 or so pages long. I wrote some of it & there are very funny parts in it!! Rachel says I am very good at writing stories and describing things.
I got a worker agreement sheet from my shop today. Luckily it doesn’t say anything about age except from you cannot be over 16. It has to be signed by my mum & my headteacher. Mum said she’s going to write a note with it saying the pay is stingy. :P
We got split into sets for science today. I am in a fast track group with Tayler & Jess. Our table is funny but Joe thinks I fancy Tayler, Jess is just weird and not many people like Bhargav – except for boffs like Tayler. I don’t fancy him, btw. J
I went to Leicester with Toni & bought loads of things in Primark & WH Smith on Thursday.
I have an ALAN test in maths in 3 weeks time. I took one last year but failed by 1 mark. :O I have to retake it.
The government have decided to take away SATs & ALAN tests and replace them with ‘Functional Skills.’ Its stuff like how to use a checkbook, and how to handle maths in everyday life. The main thing is that it’s non-algebra -> so I’m happy!
Anyway my hand hurts big time. Talk soon! X
Dear diary,
Not much to write really except that I have started writing a sequel to my friend’s story – The Dome. Her story is 72 or so pages long. I wrote some of it & there are very funny parts in it!! Rachel says I am very good at writing stories and describing things.
I got a worker agreement sheet from my shop today. Luckily it doesn’t say anything about age except from you cannot be over 16. It has to be signed by my mum & my headteacher. Mum said she’s going to write a note with it saying the pay is stingy. :P
We got split into sets for science today. I am in a fast track group with Tayler & Jess. Our table is funny but Joe thinks I fancy Tayler, Jess is just weird and not many people like Bhargav – except for boffs like Tayler. I don’t fancy him, btw. J
I went to Leicester with Toni & bought loads of things in Primark & WH Smith on Thursday.
I have an ALAN test in maths in 3 weeks time. I took one last year but failed by 1 mark. :O I have to retake it.
The government have decided to take away SATs & ALAN tests and replace them with ‘Functional Skills.’ Its stuff like how to use a checkbook, and how to handle maths in everyday life. The main thing is that it’s non-algebra -> so I’m happy!
Anyway my hand hurts big time. Talk soon! X
Sunday
6th Sept. 09
Ohai diary! ^-^
Long time no talk! Like, honestly, long time! I’ve started GCSEs now. I chose 3D Art, Music, Drama & German. I have near enough the same timetable, except I’m in like, different groups and such in different lessons.
There isn’t really much to write about. Theatre group is going well – Love is all you need went amazing. I got a part in From this Moment and should be getting the DVD for it soon, when Ken decides to bring it in. Now we’re half way doing a play called The Boyfriend written by Sandy Wilson. I got the part of Dulcie, which is quite good as I have a duet with Ken who plays Lord Brockhurst.
Sasha and I have our own Youtube account now. ItWasMyButton. But lately things between Sasha and I have not been so good. She thinks I spend too much time with my boyfriend Ben.
Ben’s lovely. He loves me and I love him. We’re going strong.
It’s midday atm so not much is happening. My laptop just overheated so I’ve stood it in front of the fan to cool down. Its such a pain when it does this, but it only does it on my account. and Thomas’ – apparently. Thomas wrote that haha.
Ohai diary! ^-^
Long time no talk! Like, honestly, long time! I’ve started GCSEs now. I chose 3D Art, Music, Drama & German. I have near enough the same timetable, except I’m in like, different groups and such in different lessons.
There isn’t really much to write about. Theatre group is going well – Love is all you need went amazing. I got a part in From this Moment and should be getting the DVD for it soon, when Ken decides to bring it in. Now we’re half way doing a play called The Boyfriend written by Sandy Wilson. I got the part of Dulcie, which is quite good as I have a duet with Ken who plays Lord Brockhurst.
Sasha and I have our own Youtube account now. ItWasMyButton. But lately things between Sasha and I have not been so good. She thinks I spend too much time with my boyfriend Ben.
Ben’s lovely. He loves me and I love him. We’re going strong.
It’s midday atm so not much is happening. My laptop just overheated so I’ve stood it in front of the fan to cool down. Its such a pain when it does this, but it only does it on my account. and Thomas’ – apparently. Thomas wrote that haha.
5th
March 2010
Dear diary,
Long time no talk. I am currently on the plane to Hannover, Germany. “Ten minutes to landing,” he says. “Ten minutes.” More announcements – fasten your seatbelts, make sure your seats are upright, fold up your tables.
As part of an exchange trip, I am now nine minutes away from being totally removed from my tiny, fluffy comfort zone. I am now to be plunged into the deep end – staying with a family I do not know. Everyone else on this flight had their partner stay at their house in October. I’m staying with Toni’s penpal, Louisa, because they obviously didn’t click at all when she came to stay.
The plane is dipping, levelling, morphing. My ears are popping continuously – ugh, I hate flying. The flight was only an hour and a half.
Kate and Kirsty are panicking because the cabin lights have dipped. The plane is rocking. I need to swallow continuously or else it feels like my head will explode. Of course I’ll look back on this and laugh. “This is stupid,” I’ll laugh as I read.
But right now…
Ugh.
Louisa says we’re going to an ice hockey match on Sunday, swimming on monday. She told me to bring sports clothes as well. I will try and make myself not seem like a boring person. I brought my drawings with me, and then there’s extra paper in this should I want to draw.
Flying makes me sleepy.
I wish Ben was here.
When we go to Berlin, the flight will be easy. I’ll sit next to him and he’ll hold my hand.
I thought they gave you sweets for landing. They do on Brunei airlines, We’re about to hit the ground.
This is tense, because I can’t see a thing…
I want to live.
I’m alive. And it’s snowing.
Dear diary,
Long time no talk. I am currently on the plane to Hannover, Germany. “Ten minutes to landing,” he says. “Ten minutes.” More announcements – fasten your seatbelts, make sure your seats are upright, fold up your tables.
As part of an exchange trip, I am now nine minutes away from being totally removed from my tiny, fluffy comfort zone. I am now to be plunged into the deep end – staying with a family I do not know. Everyone else on this flight had their partner stay at their house in October. I’m staying with Toni’s penpal, Louisa, because they obviously didn’t click at all when she came to stay.
The plane is dipping, levelling, morphing. My ears are popping continuously – ugh, I hate flying. The flight was only an hour and a half.
Kate and Kirsty are panicking because the cabin lights have dipped. The plane is rocking. I need to swallow continuously or else it feels like my head will explode. Of course I’ll look back on this and laugh. “This is stupid,” I’ll laugh as I read.
But right now…
Ugh.
Louisa says we’re going to an ice hockey match on Sunday, swimming on monday. She told me to bring sports clothes as well. I will try and make myself not seem like a boring person. I brought my drawings with me, and then there’s extra paper in this should I want to draw.
Flying makes me sleepy.
I wish Ben was here.
When we go to Berlin, the flight will be easy. I’ll sit next to him and he’ll hold my hand.
I thought they gave you sweets for landing. They do on Brunei airlines, We’re about to hit the ground.
This is tense, because I can’t see a thing…
I want to live.
I’m alive. And it’s snowing.
An Investigation into the Differences
in Written Language in Young Deaf People and Young Hearing People
In normal children,
language acquisition and development is a process that Chomsky thinks comes
innately to humans through a device called the LAD – Language Acquisition
Device. His theory states that babies are born with the knowledge of basic
rules of language structure and that humans come with an innate ability to pick
up language. However, what happens if the child suffers from a disability that hinders
their ability to hear the language around them?
For my language
investigation I will be analysing the differences in written language in deaf
people compared to hearing people. My investigation will consider grammar,
lexis and cohesion. Being deaf puts a person at a huge disadvantage in terms of
learning both written and spoken language because they cannot pick up
information through being immersed in language, especially if they were born
deaf or lost their hearing at a very young age.
This disadvantage
means that learning language is extremely difficult for them because the
children often cannot hear themselves, let alone the person talking to them.
Teaching them words and concepts of life are often a slower process than it
would be with a hearing child who is more aware of their surroundings. Piaget's
theories on language acquisition are mainly focused around "cognitive
development" - the language they learn is controlled by the development of
thinking. This means that the child would have to understand the concept in
order for them to be able to correctly use the phrase: e.g. children who use
phrases such as "more than" must have grasped the concept of it
before they were able to use it in an utterance. I also wish to challenge this
theory in my investigation.
Aims
I will be looking at the lexis and grammar used by a young deaf person and comparing it to that of a hearing person of a similar age
I will be looking at the lexis and grammar used by a young deaf person and comparing it to that of a hearing person of a similar age
Methodology
I will conduct a case study about my sister who had meningitis when she was almost one year old and became deaf because of it. She received a cochlear implant that allowed her to hear in one ear but she mainly relies on lip reading and, in earlier stages of life, sign language. She picked up spoken and written language at a later age than hearing children through speech therapy and she received special help at school from specialised departments for deaf children. This provides an interesting case to test the theories mentioned above.
I will conduct a case study about my sister who had meningitis when she was almost one year old and became deaf because of it. She received a cochlear implant that allowed her to hear in one ear but she mainly relies on lip reading and, in earlier stages of life, sign language. She picked up spoken and written language at a later age than hearing children through speech therapy and she received special help at school from specialised departments for deaf children. This provides an interesting case to test the theories mentioned above.
Expectations
I expect that the language she uses will differ from my own (which is what I will be comparing her data to), especially grammatically because she could not pick up sentence structure and other language features from listening to people at a young age when she relied heavily on sign language and lip reading. I also expect that this means her vocabulary and understanding of concepts will be more limited than my own, meaning that perhaps some things she writes may not make sense because she does not understand the concept before trying to use the word.
I expect that the language she uses will differ from my own (which is what I will be comparing her data to), especially grammatically because she could not pick up sentence structure and other language features from listening to people at a young age when she relied heavily on sign language and lip reading. I also expect that this means her vocabulary and understanding of concepts will be more limited than my own, meaning that perhaps some things she writes may not make sense because she does not understand the concept before trying to use the word.
Analysis
Grammar
The most obvious difference between Catherine’s diary entries and my own is the use of grammar. Catherine’s grammar is less developed than my own and almost seems childlike. She mixes up tenses in sentences a lot which takes away from the coherence of the sentence: ‘I’m going on my own because mum couldn’t come as she has work to do!’ This agrees with Chomsky’s theory that children are born with a basic knowledge of language structure because she knows to put the verbs in the right places but because she does not understand the concept of tenses as well as we do, she often gets it wrong.
Also, Catherine understands the concept of prepositions and where to put them in a sentence, but she perhaps doesn’t quite understand the meaning of some prepositions or which ones to use in which context. For example, she wrote, ‘I started to write this of age 11 yrs old.’ The use of the preposition ‘of’ (instead of ‘at’) shows that she recognises that a preposition should be used but she uses the wrong one. This somewhat agrees with Piaget’s theory of understanding the concept before using the phrase, but she doesn’t quite fully understand which preposition to use, disproving it to some degree.
My own diary entries show a pretty much fully developed understanding of how to use language, and shows confidence in when to use plurals and singular words. However, Catherine sometimes mixes hers up, putting plurals where it should be singular: ‘1 months’, ‘had an ears damaged’. This links, once again, into Piaget’s theory and disproves it; the use of the plural in this case may suggest that she does not understand the concept of plurals, but she has seen people use plurals before (maybe in literature or in other people’s writing) and tried to use them in her own way. This relates to the theory of imitation – that children learn language through imitation, but this theory has been found incorrect. However, Catherine has imitated what she has seen/heard other people write/say and used it without understanding the meaning, so it shows that it is possible to learn words through imitation but the child would need to be taught the meaning of the word.
In Catherine’s 2009 diary entries, she has shown a major development in her grammar, not getting too many prepositions wrong and her sentence structure is often very cohesive. However, it is evident that she has picked up the concept of the word ‘though’ but she doesn’t quite understand it. She uses it a lot when she doesn’t need to, causing her to sound like she’s contradicting herself: ‘we took funny pictures on webcam. Really funny, though.’ This sentence is not entirely coherent because the ‘though’ suggests that the first part of the sentence is negative, but here she says the same thing in both parts of the sentence. This clearly suggests that she does not understand the meaning of the word but has perhaps heard/seen it from other people and has tried to use it in her own way.
The most obvious difference between Catherine’s diary entries and my own is the use of grammar. Catherine’s grammar is less developed than my own and almost seems childlike. She mixes up tenses in sentences a lot which takes away from the coherence of the sentence: ‘I’m going on my own because mum couldn’t come as she has work to do!’ This agrees with Chomsky’s theory that children are born with a basic knowledge of language structure because she knows to put the verbs in the right places but because she does not understand the concept of tenses as well as we do, she often gets it wrong.
Also, Catherine understands the concept of prepositions and where to put them in a sentence, but she perhaps doesn’t quite understand the meaning of some prepositions or which ones to use in which context. For example, she wrote, ‘I started to write this of age 11 yrs old.’ The use of the preposition ‘of’ (instead of ‘at’) shows that she recognises that a preposition should be used but she uses the wrong one. This somewhat agrees with Piaget’s theory of understanding the concept before using the phrase, but she doesn’t quite fully understand which preposition to use, disproving it to some degree.
My own diary entries show a pretty much fully developed understanding of how to use language, and shows confidence in when to use plurals and singular words. However, Catherine sometimes mixes hers up, putting plurals where it should be singular: ‘1 months’, ‘had an ears damaged’. This links, once again, into Piaget’s theory and disproves it; the use of the plural in this case may suggest that she does not understand the concept of plurals, but she has seen people use plurals before (maybe in literature or in other people’s writing) and tried to use them in her own way. This relates to the theory of imitation – that children learn language through imitation, but this theory has been found incorrect. However, Catherine has imitated what she has seen/heard other people write/say and used it without understanding the meaning, so it shows that it is possible to learn words through imitation but the child would need to be taught the meaning of the word.
In Catherine’s 2009 diary entries, she has shown a major development in her grammar, not getting too many prepositions wrong and her sentence structure is often very cohesive. However, it is evident that she has picked up the concept of the word ‘though’ but she doesn’t quite understand it. She uses it a lot when she doesn’t need to, causing her to sound like she’s contradicting herself: ‘we took funny pictures on webcam. Really funny, though.’ This sentence is not entirely coherent because the ‘though’ suggests that the first part of the sentence is negative, but here she says the same thing in both parts of the sentence. This clearly suggests that she does not understand the meaning of the word but has perhaps heard/seen it from other people and has tried to use it in her own way.
Lexis
The lexis that I use in my diary entries is very well developed, choosing more adventurous adjectives (for a child of 12) such as ‘violently’ and ‘immensely’. Such words are not evident in Catherine’s diary entries. Instead, she uses quite basic words for an 11 year old: ‘cool’, ‘lovely’. This may be because Catherine’s first language was British Sign Language (BSL) and, because she did not become deaf until around 2 years of age, she was not exposed to learning BSL from birth. Sign language takes more effort than speaking (movement of hands, arms, body and face) and so the ‘articulation of individual signs is about 1.5 times slower than for words’.[4] This could suggest that, because, as proven by Scarborough and Dobrich (1990), children who are delayed in experimenting with language at a young age develop slower than normal, Catherine’s lack of developed vocabulary is down to starting to learn language at a later age, and having to be taught it rather than experimenting with it as a baby.
Catherine, at the time of these diary entries, was clearly influenced by language in society changing around her. She often communicated with her friends via instant messaging when she wasn’t at school and the result of this is evident in her diary entries from the beginning. She uses phonetic spelling and number homophones: ‘cuz’ and ‘2moz’. This shows that she understands the concept of these techniques and this is probably because she had first-hand experiences of using these often, since she was using instant messaging so often. She also uses some slang words, like, ‘innit’ which suggests that she is aware of the language of her generation. She also uses it in the right context, suggesting that she fully understands the concept of slang and the meanings of the words. This agrees with Chomsky’s theory of having an innate ability to pick up language, and also with Piaget’s theory of understanding the concept in order to use the phrase. Slang is not used in my own diary entries (except the use of the initialism ‘btw’ although this could have just been used to save time rather than because of my idiolect) and this could be because of differences in our surroundings – slang may be part of Catherine’s sociolect and not mine, we went to different schools, etc.
There are more spelling mistakes in Catherine’s entries than my own, suggesting a slower development of language acquisition. She writes down ‘differculty’, which is a phonetic spelling, which is something you might expect to see in a child of a younger age who is still learning how to spell. This supports the theory that starting to learn language at a later age means learning language at a slower rate.
The lexis that I use in my diary entries is very well developed, choosing more adventurous adjectives (for a child of 12) such as ‘violently’ and ‘immensely’. Such words are not evident in Catherine’s diary entries. Instead, she uses quite basic words for an 11 year old: ‘cool’, ‘lovely’. This may be because Catherine’s first language was British Sign Language (BSL) and, because she did not become deaf until around 2 years of age, she was not exposed to learning BSL from birth. Sign language takes more effort than speaking (movement of hands, arms, body and face) and so the ‘articulation of individual signs is about 1.5 times slower than for words’.[4] This could suggest that, because, as proven by Scarborough and Dobrich (1990), children who are delayed in experimenting with language at a young age develop slower than normal, Catherine’s lack of developed vocabulary is down to starting to learn language at a later age, and having to be taught it rather than experimenting with it as a baby.
Catherine, at the time of these diary entries, was clearly influenced by language in society changing around her. She often communicated with her friends via instant messaging when she wasn’t at school and the result of this is evident in her diary entries from the beginning. She uses phonetic spelling and number homophones: ‘cuz’ and ‘2moz’. This shows that she understands the concept of these techniques and this is probably because she had first-hand experiences of using these often, since she was using instant messaging so often. She also uses some slang words, like, ‘innit’ which suggests that she is aware of the language of her generation. She also uses it in the right context, suggesting that she fully understands the concept of slang and the meanings of the words. This agrees with Chomsky’s theory of having an innate ability to pick up language, and also with Piaget’s theory of understanding the concept in order to use the phrase. Slang is not used in my own diary entries (except the use of the initialism ‘btw’ although this could have just been used to save time rather than because of my idiolect) and this could be because of differences in our surroundings – slang may be part of Catherine’s sociolect and not mine, we went to different schools, etc.
There are more spelling mistakes in Catherine’s entries than my own, suggesting a slower development of language acquisition. She writes down ‘differculty’, which is a phonetic spelling, which is something you might expect to see in a child of a younger age who is still learning how to spell. This supports the theory that starting to learn language at a later age means learning language at a slower rate.
Conclusion and Evaluation
My original
hypothesis for this investigation was that there would be significant
differences in the level of language used in deaf and hearing people because of
the disability barrier of deaf children not being able to acquire language from
their surroundings as naturally as hearing children. I collected my data from
old diary entries of my sister and compared them to some of my own.
Following close observation of the diary entries, it is very clear that there are differences and a number of theories can be applied as explanations for these. Some theories were confirmed and some were disproved. For example, the existence of an innate ability to learn language (Chomsky’s LAD) was demonstrated but his theory of children being born with the knowledge of basic language structure can be debated because Catherine showed awareness of certain sentence structures but not others (e.g. Subject/object/verb was often correct but she was unsure about prepositions). However, the theory was supported with my own diary entries because, by age 12, I had developed knowledge of a wide range of sentence structures.
Throughout the investigation, it was clear that learning language at a later age puts you at a major disadvantage and has repercussions in later years. Catherine’s level of language is one that you might expect to find in a child of a young age rather than one that is about to start secondary school. However, there are many variables during the time that could have affected the results. For example, her level of education would have been slower than my own and there have been changes in education on the whole since 2008 – for example, styles of teaching are very different today as they might have been four years ago, meaning that some of this data could be anomalous or outdated. Another reason this data could be anomalous would be because I didn’t compare it to any other case studies or data of other deaf children.
In conclusion, it is clear that a deaf child’s language is not as well developed as a hearing child’s. This is because the deaf child is unable to be immersed in the language and must be manually taught some aspects of language that children would otherwise pick up themselves. As well as learning language at a slower rate, in this particular case study, Catherine started learning spoken and written English (British Sign Language was her first language) at a later age than normal children and the effects of this prove the theory that learning language at a later age effects your language development for your whole life and that children who learn language later – in any context (disability, bad parenting, etc.) – develop slower than other children.
Following close observation of the diary entries, it is very clear that there are differences and a number of theories can be applied as explanations for these. Some theories were confirmed and some were disproved. For example, the existence of an innate ability to learn language (Chomsky’s LAD) was demonstrated but his theory of children being born with the knowledge of basic language structure can be debated because Catherine showed awareness of certain sentence structures but not others (e.g. Subject/object/verb was often correct but she was unsure about prepositions). However, the theory was supported with my own diary entries because, by age 12, I had developed knowledge of a wide range of sentence structures.
Throughout the investigation, it was clear that learning language at a later age puts you at a major disadvantage and has repercussions in later years. Catherine’s level of language is one that you might expect to find in a child of a young age rather than one that is about to start secondary school. However, there are many variables during the time that could have affected the results. For example, her level of education would have been slower than my own and there have been changes in education on the whole since 2008 – for example, styles of teaching are very different today as they might have been four years ago, meaning that some of this data could be anomalous or outdated. Another reason this data could be anomalous would be because I didn’t compare it to any other case studies or data of other deaf children.
In conclusion, it is clear that a deaf child’s language is not as well developed as a hearing child’s. This is because the deaf child is unable to be immersed in the language and must be manually taught some aspects of language that children would otherwise pick up themselves. As well as learning language at a slower rate, in this particular case study, Catherine started learning spoken and written English (British Sign Language was her first language) at a later age than normal children and the effects of this prove the theory that learning language at a later age effects your language development for your whole life and that children who learn language later – in any context (disability, bad parenting, etc.) – develop slower than other children.
Bibliography
Thursday, 23 August 2012
update
i havent posted for a while but thats only because things have been going well :D
we took a week in the summer to go to Devon and we went on some bike rides and went to the beach and stuff, which was nice :)
and then i spent a week and a half at bens house which was nice as well
i finished my first draft of my language investigation (an investigation into the differences in written language of deaf people and hearing people in which i do a case study on my sister and her diary from 2008) which is due in for tomorrow which is AWESOME cus we were supposed to do it in the holidays but i did it this week instead cus i really just needed a break and we only got 4 weeks /cry
tomorrow is our 3 year anniversary hoorayy ben has been in wales all week so he might have forgotten that its tomorrow but thats okay cus he's been walking round in the mud haha but ive got him a card and i'm going to see him tomorrow at his house when he gets back :)
anyway thats about it, nothing else, all good, cya round ^^
we took a week in the summer to go to Devon and we went on some bike rides and went to the beach and stuff, which was nice :)
and then i spent a week and a half at bens house which was nice as well
i finished my first draft of my language investigation (an investigation into the differences in written language of deaf people and hearing people in which i do a case study on my sister and her diary from 2008) which is due in for tomorrow which is AWESOME cus we were supposed to do it in the holidays but i did it this week instead cus i really just needed a break and we only got 4 weeks /cry
tomorrow is our 3 year anniversary hoorayy ben has been in wales all week so he might have forgotten that its tomorrow but thats okay cus he's been walking round in the mud haha but ive got him a card and i'm going to see him tomorrow at his house when he gets back :)
anyway thats about it, nothing else, all good, cya round ^^
Monday, 6 August 2012
sims 3
so ye ben bought me sims 3 and i've explored it exhaustingly and cba to do any more exploring/collecting/casual simming for now so i've decided to start a legacy
http://aluralegacy.blogspot.co.uk
and also here's a hilarious screenshot of the first sim me and ben made
you can click the picture to make it massive and see it for all its hilarity ok cya later
http://aluralegacy.blogspot.co.uk
and also here's a hilarious screenshot of the first sim me and ben made
you can click the picture to make it massive and see it for all its hilarity ok cya later
Wednesday, 4 July 2012
hidden thoughts
must i always go through life feeling like i'll never be who i should be? like people expect/believe me to be something/someone i'm not. im not a fun person. im not overly funny and im definitely not interesting. im not pretty or desireable and im not as intelligent and hard-working as you think i am. im not confident and no, im not willing to do all the work for you unless my grade depends on it as well or i care enough at that current time.
i just feel mentally exhausted. i feel like there is a lot of pressure on me just to go about my daily life because you all expect me to be smiling and confident and full of knowledge. no, no one is perfect and i know that. i am definitely not perfect and neither is anyone else but.. people are different.
i am not the same as you.
i dont want to be and i never will be.
i just feel mentally exhausted. i feel like there is a lot of pressure on me just to go about my daily life because you all expect me to be smiling and confident and full of knowledge. no, no one is perfect and i know that. i am definitely not perfect and neither is anyone else but.. people are different.
i am not the same as you.
i dont want to be and i never will be.
Wednesday, 27 June 2012
Tuesday, 26 June 2012
daenerys stormborn
so yeah yknow how i said i love game of thrones
heres a link to my devart, have a nice day.
http://emeraldsmudge.deviantart.com/art/daenerys-stormborn-mother-of-dragons-310880088
heres a link to my devart, have a nice day.
http://emeraldsmudge.deviantart.com/art/daenerys-stormborn-mother-of-dragons-310880088
Wednesday, 13 June 2012
those feelings
yknow you get those niggling feelings at the back of your mind like youre being watched and judged by people who have said things that were actually jokes, you just didnt know it at the time and theyre constantly behind your back laughing like hell at you and the little things you do or whatever.
mneh.
mneh.
Tuesday, 5 June 2012
game of thrones
so im totally in love with it and have watched the entire first series, and hope to watch the second series in the near future. ben and i snuggled up in bed and watched the entire first series in bed over this long weekend, it was yummy ! :D so i hope to do some game of thrones fanart, fingers crossed. i will commit myself to it as best i can since im dropping art in school lmao
aaaaand now back to school but its great cus the weekend was longer than the school week, ha! but next weekend i'll be on my own :(( sobsob
oh well. time to tuck myself into my bed and wake up early tomorrow for gay schoooooooooool
aaaaand now back to school but its great cus the weekend was longer than the school week, ha! but next weekend i'll be on my own :(( sobsob
oh well. time to tuck myself into my bed and wake up early tomorrow for gay schoooooooooool
Saturday, 2 June 2012
Sunday, 27 May 2012
deviantart
i posted these on deviantart (lol, what, you never do that lyn! yeah i know OTL)
flynn and rapunzel from my favourite movie :)
http://emeraldsmudge.deviantart.com/art/rapunzel-and-flynn-304651543
his eye is too big -_- but oh well cba to change it
flynn and rapunzel from my favourite movie :)
http://emeraldsmudge.deviantart.com/art/rapunzel-and-flynn-304651543
his eye is too big -_- but oh well cba to change it
ignorance is your new best friend
okay there's only one thing for it, basically
lol that sounds cheesey.
lol that sounds cheesey.
Saturday, 26 May 2012
bleh
i dont know exactly who reads this blog and what kind of impression of me it makes on people - and im not sure i should really care about it cus it's my blog and if you don't like it, don't read it, if you don't like me, don't be bitchy about it, whatever - but i was looking at the whole demographic thingy and noticed i had over 3000 pageviews WHAT
so hello to people out there reading this blog for entertainment, out of interest, out of boredom, out of accidentally clicking some kind of link to come to this page. hi.
this weekend will be boring and it feels like sunday, which is annoying cus i woke up like ARGH but then i was like hhhhhaaaaaaa. y'know?
ive been watching tobuscus' LP of Minecraft, nearly caught up not. ive just got past the bit where he goes to to the nether, if that's relevant to any of you.. aaand i've also been on a bit of a sims hype.. so yeah. jus chillin
my exams didnt go to badly - im quite pleased with how they went. i'm gonna drop history tho cus im just not.. like.. nooo no thankyou, history. no thanks. y'know? might also drop art. im not as good at it as i used to be. dunno what to do in university, though. i just dont know what interests me enough to take a uni course in it. i dont want to do performing arts. i just don't have the confidence to do it at degree level. i might just go with english language or i might do something with german.. but german is so intimidating T-T i just don't know.
anyways, see you guys later. im just gonna sit on my own for the weekend, dont want to go out. just wanna play sims and watch some tobuscus. man, i love tobuscus. he is foooooneh.
okay anyway bye
(also i love paramore, jus sayin)
so hello to people out there reading this blog for entertainment, out of interest, out of boredom, out of accidentally clicking some kind of link to come to this page. hi.
this weekend will be boring and it feels like sunday, which is annoying cus i woke up like ARGH but then i was like hhhhhaaaaaaa. y'know?
ive been watching tobuscus' LP of Minecraft, nearly caught up not. ive just got past the bit where he goes to to the nether, if that's relevant to any of you.. aaand i've also been on a bit of a sims hype.. so yeah. jus chillin
my exams didnt go to badly - im quite pleased with how they went. i'm gonna drop history tho cus im just not.. like.. nooo no thankyou, history. no thanks. y'know? might also drop art. im not as good at it as i used to be. dunno what to do in university, though. i just dont know what interests me enough to take a uni course in it. i dont want to do performing arts. i just don't have the confidence to do it at degree level. i might just go with english language or i might do something with german.. but german is so intimidating T-T i just don't know.
anyways, see you guys later. im just gonna sit on my own for the weekend, dont want to go out. just wanna play sims and watch some tobuscus. man, i love tobuscus. he is foooooneh.
okay anyway bye
(also i love paramore, jus sayin)
Monday, 21 May 2012
history
dontcha just hate revision? if only the history course consisted of just the european reformation.. then i will have done swimmingly!
but no. henry viii blah blah whatever I DONT KNOW ANY OF IT AND MY EXAM IS TOMORROW I'M GONNA DIE
tell my teddies i love them.
laters
but no. henry viii blah blah whatever I DONT KNOW ANY OF IT AND MY EXAM IS TOMORROW I'M GONNA DIE
tell my teddies i love them.
laters
Wednesday, 16 May 2012
makeover
felt like a change and needed to get away from the place i got my old backgrounds cus they had a massive badge in the top left corner that hid half of my title..
so yeah, changed the title and the little subheadline.. not sure what colour scheme to go for yet, might keep it monochrome for the time being. well i'll have to, i just can't tear myself away from my sims!
i'm obsessed with paramore lately - but that's only cus they're awesome.
also obsessed with Toby Turner's Dramatic Song, here lemme show you the greatest song ever:
anyways, gonna carry on with my sims.. trying to do a proper legacy with a funky story and generations and stuffs! cus i read one on the sims exchange and it was like. awesome. not even kiddin'.
anyways laters.
so yeah, changed the title and the little subheadline.. not sure what colour scheme to go for yet, might keep it monochrome for the time being. well i'll have to, i just can't tear myself away from my sims!
i'm obsessed with paramore lately - but that's only cus they're awesome.
also obsessed with Toby Turner's Dramatic Song, here lemme show you the greatest song ever:
anyways, gonna carry on with my sims.. trying to do a proper legacy with a funky story and generations and stuffs! cus i read one on the sims exchange and it was like. awesome. not even kiddin'.
anyways laters.
Thursday, 3 May 2012
heh?
so been a little obsessed with minecraft lately, and people have been a little obsessed with Game of Thrones recently so me and Ben decided to watch the first episode, and I gotta say.. yeah, it was pretty good, yeah.. yeah.
ben is raging about minecraft, lol. i have to go to bed asap. mum has her boyfriend over BLAH BLAH etc.
so bye!
ben is raging about minecraft, lol. i have to go to bed asap. mum has her boyfriend over BLAH BLAH etc.
so bye!
Thursday, 26 April 2012
doesn't it suck
to feel like he's enjoying himself with everyone else except you, to feel like he has his eye on everyone else except you, to feel like he misses out on everything when he's with you but there's no such thing as missing out when he's with everything but you, to look in the mirror and pick out your flaws cus you feel like theyre the only things he sees, to feel like you make such an effort for nothing, to just feel so tired that you want to sit in bed for days and weeks and months and forever cus you dont want to get out of bed to put all that effort in that gets you nothing in the end.
why is it when you talk to me it feels like it's all just extra inconvenient effort that you cant be bothered to put in.
and why is it you just rubbed it in my face that you're talking to some other girl and you felt the need to add words like 'if you must know, i'm talking to' and 'yeah we've been talking forrr... 10 - 15 minutes' .. cus yknow. i wouldn't have been bothered if you hadn't said those things.
so anyways cya.
why is it when you talk to me it feels like it's all just extra inconvenient effort that you cant be bothered to put in.
and why is it you just rubbed it in my face that you're talking to some other girl and you felt the need to add words like 'if you must know, i'm talking to' and 'yeah we've been talking forrr... 10 - 15 minutes' .. cus yknow. i wouldn't have been bothered if you hadn't said those things.
so anyways cya.
Monday, 23 April 2012
friends and drifters
My life has just taken a step in the other direction. I have found myself drifting away from people and towards others and I have found myself a new friend in Pete and some other people at school. I've connected more with Ben and his friends and drifted away pretty much completely with my best friend Kirsty. And it's not that I hate Kirsty because I absolutely do not but.. I'm thinking of just becoming more of a drifter than attached to a friendship group. I have friends in places dotted about school, like Maisie in history and Bronwyn in art, Ahsan and Maisie again in English Language and I'm starting to talk to Toni more because I've re-joined choir. I've found a new friend in Felipe, who's totally into musical theatre and has the best singing voice for musical theatre I've ever heard!
I'm connecting more with people in my classes such as drama since now we're putting on Fame and I'm cast as Serena (meaning duet with Felipe yaaaay) and I.. well actually. Well I've always talked to the people in my German class and our week-long trip to Berlin was definitely a successful bonding activity, if anything. I've come to know year thirteen James through it and he's pretty nice.
Writing out this list, I've noticed that a lot of these people are guys... but with guys there's just more to talk about that's not to do with.. I dunno. Girly stuff. Kirsty never spoke to me about girly stuff, I dunno. I just feel like I need to move on and get on with being someone. Not that being friends with Kirsty meant I never was someone..
ARGH dskgjepkhmowjenfokemh
I just want to be someone else. Please.
It would just be so much easier if I could just go ahead and be someone who isn't me, cus being me sucks a lot of the time. I'm so illogical and have stupid opinions that actually are false cus they don't make sense, even though they're my opinion and no one else's so what I think is actually just yknow whatever blah blah blah.
What's happened to us, blog? Where did all this distance come from? Why can I not cross it and tell you everything? I feel like even you are judging me and preventing me from saying what I want to say. I just feel like the whole world is suffocating me even when my objective eyes can see that it's actually not.
BLAH.
I feel like I have so many feelings but I can't put my finger on any of them, like I'm feeling something that isn't actually there.
Sleep, please. Forever. Thanks. Bye.
I'm connecting more with people in my classes such as drama since now we're putting on Fame and I'm cast as Serena (meaning duet with Felipe yaaaay) and I.. well actually. Well I've always talked to the people in my German class and our week-long trip to Berlin was definitely a successful bonding activity, if anything. I've come to know year thirteen James through it and he's pretty nice.
Writing out this list, I've noticed that a lot of these people are guys... but with guys there's just more to talk about that's not to do with.. I dunno. Girly stuff. Kirsty never spoke to me about girly stuff, I dunno. I just feel like I need to move on and get on with being someone. Not that being friends with Kirsty meant I never was someone..
ARGH dskgjepkhmowjenfokemh
I just want to be someone else. Please.
It would just be so much easier if I could just go ahead and be someone who isn't me, cus being me sucks a lot of the time. I'm so illogical and have stupid opinions that actually are false cus they don't make sense, even though they're my opinion and no one else's so what I think is actually just yknow whatever blah blah blah.
What's happened to us, blog? Where did all this distance come from? Why can I not cross it and tell you everything? I feel like even you are judging me and preventing me from saying what I want to say. I just feel like the whole world is suffocating me even when my objective eyes can see that it's actually not.
BLAH.
I feel like I have so many feelings but I can't put my finger on any of them, like I'm feeling something that isn't actually there.
Sleep, please. Forever. Thanks. Bye.
Saturday, 21 April 2012
40 Truths
Courtesy of ol' Pete a.k.a not Hutchy LOL
Anyway, I was snooping around his blog cus it's too early in the morning for any of my friends to be on skype and I found his 40 truths quiz thing from years ago (which I think he should do again and compare his answers cus that might be interesting) and decided to try it myself, since this is the only place I can be truly truthful without many inhibitions, smileyface.
So here we go.
40 Secrets about yourself.
Be honest no matter what...
1 - Have you ever been asked out?
Yes, a few times.. yeah.
2 - Where was your avatar picture taken?
In my room
3 - What is your middle name?
I have two: Anne Oroc
Oroc is my mum's maiden name
4 - Your current relationship status?
In a relationship. Meh.
5 - Does your crush like you back?
Erm, well.. I'm in a relationship but the way I see it he doesn't like me back in the way that I like him anymore, izzit. *see other blog posts, etc. lol
6 - What is your current mood?
Bored and I have that nagging feeling of cba-ness cus I have to go to an egagement party later which means interaction with people that requires a lot of effort
7 - What color underwear are you wearing?
They are black and kinda like tight shorts with pink trims lol *cringe
8 - What color shirt are you wearing?
A grey vest top and a black jumper with colourful stripes, smileyface
9 - Missing something?
Meh
10 - If you could go back in time and change something, what would you do?
I dunno, if I changed something maybe I wouldn't be the same person I am today so, bleh.
11 - If you must be an animal for one day, what and why?
A bird or a cat. Freedoommm!
12 - Ever had a near death experience?
Errrr.. well I can't remember so that probably means no.. although I could have been in serious trouble one time if Ben hadn't called an ambulance, smileyface.
13 - Something you do a lot?
Hedge
Hedging - a display of uncertainty using speech features like tag questions or words such as 'perhaps' or 'might'
e.g. 'Perhaps we should have some breakfast' rather than 'Let's have some breakfast'
commonly a female feature of speech, etc.
14 - The song stuck in your head?
Probably something from Fame or something, dunno xD I'm just gonna put music on now, paramore ftw!
15 - Who did you copy and paste this from?
Peter smileyface (smileyface not being his second name.. :s)
16 - Name someone who has the same birthday as you.
No idea!
17 - When was the last time you cried?
Couple of days ago most probably.. maybe even the day before yesterday. Which is a couple of days ago, right? meh.
18 - Have you ever sang in front of a large audience?
Yes, I am a singer! Yaay! (www.youtube.com/user/vivialyn14)
19 - If you could have one super power what would it be?
To go invisible.
20 - What's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
Er, whether they're funny or not. Physically I usually notice their hair tehe
21 - What do you usually order from Starbucks?
I never go to Starbucks lol
22 - What's your biggest secret?
Eh pscht, I don't really have any actual secrets, just awkward feelings.
23 - Favorite color?
It used to be green but now I like colours like grey and pastel yellow cus they is cool
24 - Do you still watch kiddie shows or tv shows?
I don't really watch TV nowadays.. I only watch New Girl or Doctor Who when it's on, but that's gone downhill without good ol' Russel.
25 - What's on your wall?
A couple of canvases with flowers on them and some photos that my sister hung up.
26 - What are you?
Pretty average, yeah.
27 - Do you speak any other language?
I speak German but not fluently ^^'
28 - What's your favorite smell?
Oo I dunno... I quite like the smell of some foods that my mum cooks but I couldn't tell you which cus she cooks crazy weird dishes with fancy names. :)
29 - Describe your life in one word.
Difficult :/
30 - Have you ever kissed in the rain?
Err, probably but nothing special
31 - What are you thinking about right now?
What to write as an answer to this question ;)
33 - What should you be doing?
Getting ready to go to town but I really cannot be bothered cus we'll probably going shopping which sucks, and then I went for a really long walk with Pete yesterday and now my legs hurt cus I suck at walking.
34 - Who was the last being that made you upset/angry?
Ben probably cus he makes me upset/angry a lot of the time, blah.
35 - How often do you talk to God?
Eh, never. I'm written down as a Roman Catholic but I'm not too religious. I don't believe in God persay, just someone up there looking after people like my daddy <3
37 - If you could have any last name in the world, what would you want?
Meh, no idea. Middleton fits quite well.
39 - What is your natural hair color?
Black but then I dyed it red lots of times when I was younger and then Ben persuaded me to dye it purple on a whim once and now it's kind of a browny colour.
40 - What are you terrible at?
Talking, maths, geography, being cool, etc. blah.
Anyway, I was snooping around his blog cus it's too early in the morning for any of my friends to be on skype and I found his 40 truths quiz thing from years ago (which I think he should do again and compare his answers cus that might be interesting) and decided to try it myself, since this is the only place I can be truly truthful without many inhibitions, smileyface.
So here we go.
40 Secrets about yourself.
Be honest no matter what...
1 - Have you ever been asked out?
Yes, a few times.. yeah.
2 - Where was your avatar picture taken?
In my room
3 - What is your middle name?
I have two: Anne Oroc
Oroc is my mum's maiden name
4 - Your current relationship status?
In a relationship. Meh.
5 - Does your crush like you back?
Erm, well.. I'm in a relationship but the way I see it he doesn't like me back in the way that I like him anymore, izzit. *see other blog posts, etc. lol
6 - What is your current mood?
Bored and I have that nagging feeling of cba-ness cus I have to go to an egagement party later which means interaction with people that requires a lot of effort
7 - What color underwear are you wearing?
They are black and kinda like tight shorts with pink trims lol *cringe
8 - What color shirt are you wearing?
A grey vest top and a black jumper with colourful stripes, smileyface
9 - Missing something?
Meh
10 - If you could go back in time and change something, what would you do?
I dunno, if I changed something maybe I wouldn't be the same person I am today so, bleh.
11 - If you must be an animal for one day, what and why?
A bird or a cat. Freedoommm!
12 - Ever had a near death experience?
Errrr.. well I can't remember so that probably means no.. although I could have been in serious trouble one time if Ben hadn't called an ambulance, smileyface.
13 - Something you do a lot?
Hedge
Hedging - a display of uncertainty using speech features like tag questions or words such as 'perhaps' or 'might'
e.g. 'Perhaps we should have some breakfast' rather than 'Let's have some breakfast'
commonly a female feature of speech, etc.
14 - The song stuck in your head?
Probably something from Fame or something, dunno xD I'm just gonna put music on now, paramore ftw!
15 - Who did you copy and paste this from?
Peter smileyface (smileyface not being his second name.. :s)
16 - Name someone who has the same birthday as you.
No idea!
17 - When was the last time you cried?
Couple of days ago most probably.. maybe even the day before yesterday. Which is a couple of days ago, right? meh.
18 - Have you ever sang in front of a large audience?
Yes, I am a singer! Yaay! (www.youtube.com/user/vivialyn14)
19 - If you could have one super power what would it be?
To go invisible.
20 - What's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
Er, whether they're funny or not. Physically I usually notice their hair tehe
21 - What do you usually order from Starbucks?
I never go to Starbucks lol
22 - What's your biggest secret?
Eh pscht, I don't really have any actual secrets, just awkward feelings.
23 - Favorite color?
It used to be green but now I like colours like grey and pastel yellow cus they is cool
24 - Do you still watch kiddie shows or tv shows?
I don't really watch TV nowadays.. I only watch New Girl or Doctor Who when it's on, but that's gone downhill without good ol' Russel.
25 - What's on your wall?
A couple of canvases with flowers on them and some photos that my sister hung up.
26 - What are you?
Pretty average, yeah.
27 - Do you speak any other language?
I speak German but not fluently ^^'
28 - What's your favorite smell?
Oo I dunno... I quite like the smell of some foods that my mum cooks but I couldn't tell you which cus she cooks crazy weird dishes with fancy names. :)
29 - Describe your life in one word.
Difficult :/
30 - Have you ever kissed in the rain?
Err, probably but nothing special
31 - What are you thinking about right now?
What to write as an answer to this question ;)
33 - What should you be doing?
Getting ready to go to town but I really cannot be bothered cus we'll probably going shopping which sucks, and then I went for a really long walk with Pete yesterday and now my legs hurt cus I suck at walking.
34 - Who was the last being that made you upset/angry?
Ben probably cus he makes me upset/angry a lot of the time, blah.
35 - How often do you talk to God?
Eh, never. I'm written down as a Roman Catholic but I'm not too religious. I don't believe in God persay, just someone up there looking after people like my daddy <3
37 - If you could have any last name in the world, what would you want?
Meh, no idea. Middleton fits quite well.
39 - What is your natural hair color?
Black but then I dyed it red lots of times when I was younger and then Ben persuaded me to dye it purple on a whim once and now it's kind of a browny colour.
40 - What are you terrible at?
Talking, maths, geography, being cool, etc. blah.
Thursday, 19 April 2012
what the fuuuccckk
basically, i'm just asking for some more attention and loving but you just cant be bothered, what is this?! im so frustrated, please just put more effort in or leave cus I am boorreeddddd.
have to write a stupid history essay now, sad face, laters
have to write a stupid history essay now, sad face, laters
Friday, 13 April 2012
below par
ever feel like you're not good enough? like you don't know enough or you don't understand things or you can't do things other people can do so easily? ever feel like people compare you to other people better than you? or think too highly of you so you end up falling on your face?
yeah. me too.
it's nearly exam time and i've had no motivation to do any revision. the subject i need to most revision on is history and i've made some powerpoints to help me revise but theyre not finished.. i've just handed in my english language coursework never to be touched again and i hope to god it's alright.. my work didn't get marked as much as other people's work because our teacher was always busy with other stuff and i thought i could take care of things myself..
i just hate talking to people and asking for help. i hate telling people how i feel and making myself feel small because most people have such high expectations and views of me that i feel like if i slumped and did the smallest thing wrong, they'd be so disappointed and i'd be utterly humiliated for not being the person they thought i was.
i'm not even that special. i'm not a super genious, i'm just enthusiastic about getting things done. i have the confidence to get up in front of an audience and present or perform but i have no confidence to ask for help. i can't even tell mum that i feel ill and i can't talk about how i feel most of the time because i don't want to look like an attention seeker. and then when i come out with average grades when everyone thought i would do amazingly, all i can do is bury my head in the sand until the hype of results goes away.
i'm frightened of going out and being on my own. i need support and praise when i get things right so i can handle it better when i get it wrong. i hardly ever see my mother because she's always out working and a lot of the time we argue because that's what families do - argue about silly things. it's not just a few times i've been called lazy and hopeless when i feel like i put a lot of effort into things and people just don't see.
i dont want to be pushed around and i want to succeed but im afraid of rejection and humiliation, as most people are. i dont want to hide myself away because i do like positive attention, but i dont want people to fuss and look up to me because i know i will only let them down because im never as good as people expect me to be. i'm just average with a little more confidence than the rest.
i get compared to other people a lot - my friends, people who are better than me.. "your friends make you as depressed as them, they have a terrible outlook on life and they drag you down with them", "so and so has done so much work, why haven't you done that?" people just don't understand that i'm not like everyone else and i dont want to be so dont make me into someone i'm not. if i dont want to do it that way then i wont. simple as. stop comparing me to other people and let me be myself and maybe then i'll be able to talk more and do better.
i feel terrible about myself a lot of the time because i feel like i constantly let people down and i cant do anything about it. they just expect too much of me because i'm always smiling. just because i look happy, doesnt mean i will do better than those who dont look happy. charisma isn't everything - and i dont even have that much charisma. i just try to be myself but society wants me to flow with the river and i dont want to = i end up failing. that's not strictly true and that doesn't really make sense.
what i'm trying to say is, even the confident people need support because maybe the confidence is a mask, a cover-up of how they really feel underneath. care more, please.
thanks.
yeah. me too.
it's nearly exam time and i've had no motivation to do any revision. the subject i need to most revision on is history and i've made some powerpoints to help me revise but theyre not finished.. i've just handed in my english language coursework never to be touched again and i hope to god it's alright.. my work didn't get marked as much as other people's work because our teacher was always busy with other stuff and i thought i could take care of things myself..
i just hate talking to people and asking for help. i hate telling people how i feel and making myself feel small because most people have such high expectations and views of me that i feel like if i slumped and did the smallest thing wrong, they'd be so disappointed and i'd be utterly humiliated for not being the person they thought i was.
i'm not even that special. i'm not a super genious, i'm just enthusiastic about getting things done. i have the confidence to get up in front of an audience and present or perform but i have no confidence to ask for help. i can't even tell mum that i feel ill and i can't talk about how i feel most of the time because i don't want to look like an attention seeker. and then when i come out with average grades when everyone thought i would do amazingly, all i can do is bury my head in the sand until the hype of results goes away.
i'm frightened of going out and being on my own. i need support and praise when i get things right so i can handle it better when i get it wrong. i hardly ever see my mother because she's always out working and a lot of the time we argue because that's what families do - argue about silly things. it's not just a few times i've been called lazy and hopeless when i feel like i put a lot of effort into things and people just don't see.
i dont want to be pushed around and i want to succeed but im afraid of rejection and humiliation, as most people are. i dont want to hide myself away because i do like positive attention, but i dont want people to fuss and look up to me because i know i will only let them down because im never as good as people expect me to be. i'm just average with a little more confidence than the rest.
i get compared to other people a lot - my friends, people who are better than me.. "your friends make you as depressed as them, they have a terrible outlook on life and they drag you down with them", "so and so has done so much work, why haven't you done that?" people just don't understand that i'm not like everyone else and i dont want to be so dont make me into someone i'm not. if i dont want to do it that way then i wont. simple as. stop comparing me to other people and let me be myself and maybe then i'll be able to talk more and do better.
i feel terrible about myself a lot of the time because i feel like i constantly let people down and i cant do anything about it. they just expect too much of me because i'm always smiling. just because i look happy, doesnt mean i will do better than those who dont look happy. charisma isn't everything - and i dont even have that much charisma. i just try to be myself but society wants me to flow with the river and i dont want to = i end up failing. that's not strictly true and that doesn't really make sense.
what i'm trying to say is, even the confident people need support because maybe the confidence is a mask, a cover-up of how they really feel underneath. care more, please.
thanks.
Wednesday, 11 April 2012
Peter's Love's End
So Peter confesses his love for Lyn the moment he saw her and they agree to try out a long distance relationship. Peter leaves the next morning and Lyn feels like starting afresh. She finds that she is able to pay off her rent and the next morning she gets promoted! She uses the new money to tip off her landlord and to move into a new apartment which has two floors! It has a fold-out bed in the spare room for guests or a roommate and she has her own en suite. Lyn feels like her new start is exactly what she needed, and she trims up her diet and her lifestyle by going for a jog every morning.
A month later, Peter offers to come and stay with Lyn for a night. Lyn excitedly accepts since she hasn't seen him since she moved into her new apartment. She gives him her new address and tidies up the apartment for his visit.
But Peter brings bad news. As faithful as he would have liked to been, the distance had gotten the better of him and he explains that the relationship would just not work.
I think this will be the end for this legacy and I'll start a proper one and I'll start one from college and it will be awesome. Maybe I'll give it its own blog, smiley face. Bye!
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