:'(

[21:28:26] Mitchell Bellamy: Up to mcuh

[21:28:31] Vivialyn Anne Oroc Joynson: nope.

[21:28:43] Vivialyn Anne Oroc Joynson: Dont really know what to do with myself, tbh. :/

[21:28:51] Mitchell Bellamy: Ah :/

[21:29:03] Mitchell Bellamy: Do you not regret what you did?

[21:29:12] Vivialyn Anne Oroc Joynson: No

[21:29:15] Vivialyn Anne Oroc Joynson: I'm just upset about it, naturally.

[21:29:26] Vivialyn Anne Oroc Joynson: We would have just kept on arguing

[21:29:29] Mitchell Bellamy: Yeah, thats what i said

[21:29:44] Vivialyn Anne Oroc Joynson: I was always asking things from him

[21:30:08] Vivialyn Anne Oroc Joynson: Like, even now, I feel like I expect him to come back and apologise..

[21:30:12] Vivialyn Anne Oroc Joynson: But he hasn't done anything

[21:30:25] Mitchell Bellamy: :/

[21:30:38] Mitchell Bellamy: Would you like him to? i mean if you both wanted to?

[21:30:59] Vivialyn Anne Oroc Joynson: I would like him to apologise, but I've told myself that even though I love him, I don't *want* him.

[21:31:06] Vivialyn Anne Oroc Joynson: If we got back together, things would just be the same.

[21:31:18] Vivialyn Anne Oroc Joynson: I guess I'm just too stubborn to make the effort to change, and that's the way it'll always be.

[21:31:53] Vivialyn Anne Oroc Joynson: He's such a genuine person, and the only thing I regret is letting it go on for this long.

[21:32:20] Mitchell Bellamy: giving him something you dont have, you mean? if that makes sense?

[21:32:50] Vivialyn Anne Oroc Joynson: Mm, I'm just too much of a selfish person for him, and he needs someone who will give him as much love as he gives to them.

[21:32:56] Vivialyn Anne Oroc Joynson: And that wasn't me.

[21:33:10] Vivialyn Anne Oroc Joynson: But nevermind, I guess some things are just not meant to be, and all we can do is move on.

[21:33:27] Vivialyn Anne Oroc Joynson: Don't get me wrong, I am heartbroken.

[21:33:31] Mitchell Bellamy: Yeah i suppose :/

[21:33:35] Mitchell Bellamy: ow :/

[21:33:58] Vivialyn Anne Oroc Joynson: But I don't want to sit and be vulnerable to his promises, because he never keeps them, and I don't want him to persuade me to come back because in the end we just weren't good together.

[21:34:26] Vivialyn Anne Oroc Joynson: I'd love to come back and just hug him and be with him forever, but I know that's not how it will work, and I'm trying hard to accept it.

[21:34:59] Mitchell Bellamy: :/ ow, so much depth, i feel sorry for you both, its terribly unfair, i mean in nature

[21:35:10] Vivialyn Anne Oroc Joynson: I know, life is tough.

[21:35:14] Vivialyn Anne Oroc Joynson: Love is tough.

How true.

I love him so much, and I've sat here all evening hoping he'll speak to me because I'm lonely and I miss him. But I'm trying to accept that we'll never be together again. 

I tell myself that this is better for us in the long run.