rethinking.

things just aint how they used to be, y'know? lots of things have changed, lots of people have changed. I know I have changed. But not dramatically.. not so that I'm this whole new person. Or at least I don't want to have changed like that.

though.. i can't help feeling that actually i have just become a different person. i feel like i am just somebody else to you now and we're just not .. compatible? haha, ironic.

i know you. i know you like the back of my hand. and it's sad because i know things i dont want to know. feelings exist in you that i dont want to exist. and it's tough going through everyday with that knowledge trying to push its way to the front of my mind. trying to shout 'hey! you know me! dont forget me! i am the truth.'

recently i have been trying to keep myself busy with friends, saying no where otherwise i would have usually said yes. trying to convince myself that i don't need you anymore in the same way that you don't need me. i've been saying to myself, hey, look at what a great time i'm having with my friends. isn't this fab? well yeah. of course it is. but you're not there. you're not my friend anymore.

so who are you? this mysterious personality i fell in love with nearly three years ago. a personality that only exists because i make him up? have you changed? are you somebody else? 

or am I?