mental health

okay so, since this is my blog and i can put what i want, i just wanted to share with you what I have been up to this evening.

basically, the other day Ben said he took an OCD test and came out as actually having it (these are online tests btw so i don't take them too literally) so I decided to take some tests and the first one I took was a bipolar disorder test. i have considered possibly having it and ben often calls me bipolar in arguments, blah blah xD so i just decided to take one just to see what i'd get.

Based upon your responses to this bipolar disorder quiz, you appear to be suffering from moderate to severe symptoms associated with a bipolar disorder. People who have answered similarly to you typically qualify for a diagnosis of Bipolar I Disorder and have sought professional treatment for this disorder. (You may, however, still fit into the less serious diagnosis of Bipolar II Disorder.) 

I scored 46 and 36 - 50 was moderate to severe symptoms. But obviously, this is an online test so I'm taking it with a pinch of salt!

I also took a romantic attachment test and what came out was pretty accurate! :O

You have described yourself as preoccupied in your attachments. This suggests that you have more intense interpersonal relations than many people do, that in your romantic relations you sometimes feel really quite close, and at other times you feel almost estranged and cut-off. You probably have a hard time asserting yourself in a way that makes you feel you are really in control of your emotions. You may find that you often feel let down and as if you are giving much more than you get in your romances.

It's possible that your partners feel as if you don't really know who they are, even though you feel you are very intimate with them. You probably have a higher level of emotional arousal than most other people, both positive and negative, and this gets expressed in your romantic relationships. You may find it hard to be without a lover, and yet find that when you have a lover, the intensity puts a strain on the relationship.

Being preoccupied in romance is a matter of degree. A good lover thinks of the beloved often and holds the beloved in her or his thoughts. Mindfulness is a virtue and being mindful of one's lover is highly regarded and a tremendous asset in close relationships. But there's a difference between mindfulness and preoccupation. If you feel that perhaps you have been too preoccupied in love, it may be time for you to consider professional help. Being overly preoccupied in love is a condition that can often be successfully addressed in psychotherapy.

Remember that attachment styles exist in degrees, and in this test, the degree to which a style is true for you will make a difference in your interpretation. Everyone has to have some style or another, and the features of any one style only become maladaptive when they exist in the extreme.

this is a lot to read for you guys if you're actually reading it xD but I just wanted to share with you what I got. I kinda suspected I might have bipolar disorder - only mildly - but was too scared to say anything because I don't want people saying 'omg lyn shut up youre being stupid you just want things to be about you all the time you attention-seeker, how pathetic thinking you have some kind of problem you're just weird' :S so yeah.

anyway xD laters