Okay. So from now on I am going to aim to write two things good for everything bad on this blog, because before it mainly consisted of bad things that I felt I couldn't talk to about anything, and the lack of good things made me seem like the world was against me and that I have this awful life, etc. when actually I don't. So here goes.

Today I had a great time in school seeing Ben because I actually felt like he was happy to see me, with all the cuddles and 'oo lynnie cuddle cuddle' stuff. And it made me really happy, it really did. I feel like things are finally turning around -- that is, I did until something happened earlier that made my heart sink so low in myself that I swear it was starting to get dissolved by my stomach acid - haha very funny.

On texts to me, ben puts around three or four texts - five if I've put millions (lol). But today ben accidentally sent me a text that was meant for this girl who I really really really REALLY hate. She is so so so pretty and has amazing dress sense but she is also a fucking bomb waiting to blow up everything you have built up for yourself in life - emotions, memories, trust, reasoning - all of it. Boom.

Last year, ben and I were going through a rough patch and he ended up .. it wasn't exactly cheating but it broke my heart like as if it were. Nothing spectacular happened, just blah and then some anger and then some promises and it was all forgotten.

So this text yesterday, apparently she was asking about homework. Okay, sure, fine, no problem. Except that this text was asking her 'what do you do in dancing? xxx' so it wasn't actually about homework and it had three kisses on the end. His excuse was that he was putting kisses to be polite - but last time I checked, you would only put one kiss on if that were so. So how many kisses was she sending to him if the ones he were sending back were polite kisses?! Urgh! I'm so angry because I have to let it go. I have to not ask questions even tho I have a right to because if I did then that would be being controlling.

So that put me in a rubbish mood, but I spoke to a friend about it so I managed to get most of it off my chest. So yeah. Urgh.

Anyway, this evening I had an alright time playing LoL with Ben and his friends - I suck so I get shouted at but I would rather that than no communication at all. Besides, having bens friends there made it kinda funny cus they don't shout at me and they made jokes and stuff so yeah. I had an alright evening. Smiley face.

Sleepy time now, my thumbs hurt. ;D night!
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device